Over the last few weeks, but especially since Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s death, we have received so many messages from friends, family, and acquaintances. In this blog post, I will try to answer some of these questions. In case a random stranger happens to read this, I am not Iranian, but my husband is.
How are you feeling? I am feeling like shit, thank you for asking!
This is by far the most commonly asked question, and I seriously don’t know how to answer it. I understand that this question comes from a place of care and love — in fact, one of my favorite people in the entire world texted me this very question — but it is simply not possible to answer.
How could I be feeling? About any war, in any part of the world? Especially when our family is there. We should feel bad about any war, but perhaps I am a selfish human being and I care a little more about this one because it hits close to home — literally and figuratively. It is also possible that I am simply more exposed to the news by proximity, and right now I am in panic mode.
The worst moment, if you must know, was when I realized that I don’t know when — or if — we will ever see our family again. So when you ask me how I am, I cannot explain how I am. How could I be?
How is your family doing? I don’t know!
Since early 2026, the Iranian government has basically shut down the internet. We have not been able to have phone or video conversations with them since then. At some point in late February, there was some internet service and we were able to text sporadically. Since Khamenei’s death, we have not heard anything from them. Based on the maps of attacks we have seen, we know my husband’s city has not been targeted, so we are assuming they are well -as in alive.
What do you think about Iran? I don’t understand!
Ever since I met my husband over 10 years ago, I have been dreaming of Iranian regime’s fall. All my Iranian friends have left their country, never to return, and I always dreamed of visiting one day with my husband and meeting his family in their home. Between Iran’s oppressive regime and the US Muslim travel ban (the first round), we lost my husband’s mother. I never got to meet her. After the travel ban was lifted and we got our lives together, my husband was able to meet my mom — on her deathbed, in the ICU in my hometown. We were allowed ten minutes with her. We have yet to go to Iran.
To be honest, this might seem painful — and it is — but at the same time, knowing what some Iranians have gone through, it feels like nothing. The regime and its Islamic laws have ruined lives, jailed journalists, writers, and directors, killed university students, and done far worse. There is no doubt that Khamenei was a terrible man, and I won’t lie — I did smile when I saw the news that he died.
On the other hand, I hate the monarchy as well. I live in Los Angeles, home to the largest Iranian diaspora in the world, with even a neighborhood called Tehrangeles. There is a large following for Reza Pahlavi, the son of the last Shah of Iran, among the Iranian diaspora, and many support the war in Iran. This is something I will never understand. I will never understand anyone wanting war. And I will never understand anyone supporting monarchy to return, especially someone like Reza Pahlavi.1
In short, I hate both the regime and the monarchy, and I truly don’t understand how anyone can support either. US’ biggest export is “democracy” and I have never seen any good come out of it in the Middle East (or Latin America) in my life. All I want and hope for is the war to end, in Iran, and beyond. It is 2026 and I really cannot believe humans have not evolved to stop creating wars.
Footnotes
Note that the video includes a prank by Russian comedians which means there is Russian propaganda sprinkled in it. Obviously, no to war in Ukraine.↩︎